Finding yourself again as a mother
In honor of International Mother's Day
Motherhood can be a source of great joy and fulfillment, but it can also be challenging and demanding. Mothers must balance the needs of their children with their own needs and responsibilities, often juggling multiple roles and tasks.
The experience of motherhood can vary widely depending on environmental and personal factors. Regardless of how motherhood is experienced, it is a complex and multifaceted role that involves a wide range of responsibilities and pressures. This all can create a great deal of struggle in navigating motherhood and figuring out what type of mother you are vs. what you want to be.
I myself have felt the pressure to be “the perfect mother” I can be while maintaining being myself, showing love for my husband, and caring for my cat and dog. Pffuf…sweating already. And honestly, I completely failed in being all that at the same time. It was a great deal of struggle for me to set boundaries and find myself again and it took more than a year to get there.
Finding yourself again as a mother is a common challenge many women face. Here are some steps you can take to reconnect with yourself and regain a sense of personal identity:
Outsourcing: Get someone else to do some of the tasks you are responsible for on a daily. This can be hiring a cleaner, gardener, pet walker, and babysitter for those hours when you want to do something for yourself. You don’t have to do it all and there is no shame in getting some help. You also don’t need a high budget for that as currently there are plenty of people looking for some extra work.
Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on who you were before becoming a mother and what aspects of your identity you may have put aside. Consider your values, interests, passions, and personal goals. Reflecting on your pre-motherhood self can help you reconnect with aspects of your identity that may have taken a backseat.
Seek support: Reach out to other mothers or support groups who can relate to your experiences. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others who understand can provide validation and a sense of community. Consider joining local parenting groups or online forums where you can connect with other moms.
Set boundaries: Establishing boundaries is crucial for maintaining a healthy balance between your role as a mother and your individual identity. Learn to say "no" when necessary and set aside dedicated time for yourself. Communicate your needs and boundaries to your family and loved ones, and involve them in supporting your efforts to find yourself again.
Revisit old interests or discover new ones: Reengage with hobbies or activities you enjoyed before becoming a mother, or explore new ones that pique your interest. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can help you reconnect with your authentic self.
Practice self-reflection and gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on your experiences and express gratitude for the positive aspects of your life. Keeping a journal can be a helpful tool for self-reflection and capturing moments of gratitude.
Seek professional help if needed: If you're feeling overwhelmed or struggling to reconnect with yourself despite your efforts, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and strategies tailored to your specific situation.
Remember, finding yourself as a mother is a journey that takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself and embrace the process of rediscovering who you are outside of your role as a parent. Taking time for yourself and spending it in a way that brings YOU joy will have a positive effect on your attitude in your other roles incl. being a mom.
If you need any help and support, you can reach out to me and we can go on this journey together.